The Random Crap Thread

[Silver Sorrow]

[Yeah, I know: all my threads turn out that way...but I might as well drop my futile attempt at relevance and just call a shovel a shovel.]

CLICK-->> Backstroke of the West - An Untold Love Story <<--CLICK

Done for laughs or actual...who cares? The last scene's subtitle is brilliant, really: it sums up Vader's emotional state with a bit of geek culture hipitude.

If that weren't a bad enough subject for the first post in a new thread, here's Gong Li:



...and a very sweaty Xue Chen, signing someone's ball:



Don't give me THAT, okay? I'm just setting the tone here: random CRAP, people. There's no rhyme or reason intended, no ulterior motive or overarching evil scheme.

...you hope.

Okay, okay: here are a couple of non-babe-oriented pics.

Since Mass Effect is totally fuck-all when it comes to modding the damned thing (thanks a LOT, Bioware...money-grubbing ass-clowns), the closest you can come to modding the game is either through a savegame editor, screwing with the config settings (surprisingly fun, however), and using a third-party texture extraction/insertion util, TexMod. Here's what you can expect when using TexMod in Mass Effect:



I believe it's supposed to say "Convert this item [into?] omni-gel?" I get a lot of this. It's not even close to the funkiest crap I see in-game. Asari character textures overlaying the loading screens, stat screens filled with gibberish...it goes away with ease, but still...I may need to reinstall. Silly me for wanting to improve my game.

Next? More Mass Effect. Hitting a Thresher Maw with Stasis is interesting, but...oh, well:



Yes, you can tell I have Kaidan and Liara in my group. They're somewhat useless, but I was going for the asari and Sentinel ally Achivements. Normally, I leave their asses on the ship.

Mass Effect...AGAIN...and this time you can see why you should always keep track of your textures' file names. I didn't, and...:



No, that color was just an *experiment*. Geez. The light version:



A little garish, and not what I eventually settled on...but it's still WAY better than the white armor with black trim I tried out. I kept hearing the Empire's theme song with that one.

Speaking of armor, is combat armor, even light armor, supposed to enable a cameltoe?



And, in parting: Hey! Where Did All My Stuff Go?

Wait, one more thing:

 

It just makes me happy.

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[Starfox]

And, in parting: Hey! Where Did All My Stuff Go?

Well, what is not mentioned is that on one wall in a dark corner of the tomb those few  words were hastily scribbled: "Garrett was there!"... 

Seriously though, this small piece is interesting in one way... Rob a fresh tomb and everyone screams "Profanation! Blasphemy!"... Rob a tomb 4000 years old and everyone thinks "Oh well, normal scientific process". It's something that always troubled me when I was much younger. I wondered "Ain't these things supposed to be sacred no matter the religion involved and the amount of time elapsed?" I guess not. At some point a "holy place" just turns into "pile of bones". And it doesn't take long either. When I was little, we lived right in front of a cemetery (quiet neighborhood, really) then one day someone decided that a building and a park needed to go there so bulldozers and cranes came and ruined the place. Caskets (or in some cases what was left of them) were transported somewhere else -- hopefully in another cemetery -- and a building was promptly build with a small park and a few trees around. Nowadays they use this park to celebrate soldiers who died during the wars in front of a monument they built some years after the park... ironically enough.

And I have people who ask me why I opted from cremation when the time will come? I say "Why bother?". 

[OrlopRat]

 Poor Tut. 

 Although perhaps "Tut" is a bit familiar, since I don't really know the fellow personally. It would be more respectful to use his full name, I suppose. So,

 Poor Kanakht Tutmesut Neferhepusegerehtawy Wer-Ah-Amun Neb-r-Djer Wetjeskhausehetepnetjeru Heqa-maat-sehetep-netjeru Wetjes-khau-itef-Re Wetjes-khau-Tjestawy-Im Nebkheperure Tutankhamun Hekaiunushema 

That's better.

  Here in New York, historically a place with no respect for the past whatsoever, we have routinely plowed over many a graveyard, with no more concern for the inhabitants therein than adding them to the ever increasing landfill. Things have changed in the past twenty years or so, sort of. In my own neighborhood we have the Brinkerhoff Cemetery, an old Colonial era plot with graves dating back to the 17th century. It sits between houses in a heavily built up residential area, prime real estate in a land hungry city. Someone wants to build on it of course, it's been ignored for a long time but there's a movement now to buy the land from the developer and save it. The Dutch government has even forked over some money, since, after all, a lot of the folks resting there are (were?) Dutch. Makes sense.
  Some years ago a fellow who lived next door to the cemetery took away a lot (but not all) of the tombstones and literally trucked them away to parts unknown. It creeped him put that he lived next to a cemetery. I hate to tell him, but after looking at some old maps, both he and the homeowner on the other side are actually living on top of part of the thing. Lately, the boys at the 107 Precinct of the NYPD, which is next door, have adopted the site and volunteer a lot of time maintaining and cleaning it up.

   Which reminds me of Gong Li.

HELLO TITTIES!

    I thought I'd made that clever Asian-referenced caption up, but a quick Google search showed that, indeed, I did not.

     I read this about her role in Curse of the Golden Flower which I happen to own on DVD. (Make of that what you will).
 

The $57 million Tang dynasty features bloody battles, ornate sets and an "eye-popping" role from Gong Li, "whose breasts are so tightly wrapped that they appear ready to pop out of her costume", Xinhua news agency said on Wednesday.
    "What I remember is not the fighting scenes or the acting, but the shiny white flesh," Xinhua quoted internet surfer "Bond" as saying in a personal review. The term used for "golden flower" sounds similar to "golden corset" in Mandarin, though the Chinese characters are different.

 You know, suddenly, I feel like watching it again...

[OrlopRat]

 I take a break from watching Ms. Li's assets to further illustrate my cemetery story:

   You can see the two houses flanking the plot. A lot of the tombstones are still actually there, but buried, which makes them safe for now. Another interesting thing is that another name of the place is "The Blackstump Cemetery", because the old Blackstump Road  (now 73rd Ave) runs by it. I wish it was still called Blackstump Road. Sounds unsavory. My old email address from many years ago was Blackstumproad at AOL dot com. The most disturbing part was "AOL".
   The house on the left, by the way, is the one where the stone stealing guy lived. He's gone now. Perhaps torn to shreds by the products of necromancy? Could be.

EDIT: I can't help myself...

[Stubby]

Okay, I'll admit that that Chinese girl is fairly well-endowed, but I will not 'utter' a word about that!!   Still, there has to be more to her then just a pretty face, great physical attributes, alot of money, and great physical attributes!! Did I mention the great physical attributes? Now, if she was Egyptian, they they could lay claim to having 3 'Great Pyramids,' instead of only one, but she's NOT. Therefore, I put forth the notion that  great physical attributes, in no way, can contribute to one's personality. Nor is this post making any sense!! Without a great personality, those great physical attributes would mean absolutey NOTHING, other than they would make good paper weights, or doorstops. However, if you used them for paperweights you would, without a doubt, need a very LARGE desk!! As for doorstops, then again, they could hold open the gates of Hell!! (or Heaven, depending on perverted you are ) Well, I need to lie down for awhile and dream about paperweights....NO NO NO NO....I meant Lamborghini Countach's. Now THERE is some great physical attributes!!!!!

[Joshua-kun]

And remember...

With Great Physical Attributes, comes great responsibility.

 

[Stubby]

LOL!!! I agree 100% with that Joshua-kun!! After all, if you're standing behind her and she turns around too quickly, you could very well end up in the hospital with severe injuries!! Depending on how tall you are, of course, would depend on the area of your person that was damaged One must take full resposibilties for ones own 'dangerous' attributes!!

[Starfox]

After all, if you're standing behind her and she turns around too quickly, you could very well end up in the hospital with severe injuries!!

That's if you're lucky. Considering she's a celebrity you could as well end up with a huge fine and a restraint order  Of course the actual outcome would depend on *her* personality and we know nothing about that (at least I don't).

And why using her physical attributes as paperweights when you can use the whole as a *sheet*weight? I'm not into spare parts. And I was not a huge Lego fan when I was young. How does Lego fit in all this? I don't know, just an image.

That aside, you do know that we're happily stomping on Silver's territory there (I mean, Asian ladies)... I can already hear the flamethrower *whoosh*

OK, now I quit. I really have to finish working on some review while I still have some brain cells left.

[bobdog]

OK, now I quit. I really have to finish working on some review while I still have some brain cells left.

Hey, while you're at it, can you enable the last one I uploaded?? 

[Stubby]

I'm sorry Silver!! As Starfox pointed out, I was stomping in your territory and, honestly, there was NO disrespect intended!! I was just admiring her 'utter' beauty, that's all....honest!! Then again, it was my civic duty to point out what could happen if one stood too close to that 'utter' beauty. I've got to go now....I have to try and figure out what Leggos  has to do with all this And yeah, she may be a star, but she puts her jeans on the same way we do.....it just takes longer for her to get the top part tucked in

[OrlopRat]

 Hey...(pointing at the Dumpster) HE started it! I like Asian ladies as much as the next fellow, and Ms. Li is rather extraordinary in many (two) ways, but I just respond in a Pavlovian manner to what's presented to me. 
   And thanks, Stubby. Now I'm spending my afternoon here imagining Gong Li squeezing into her jeans. Oh my

   She's nice, she is, but Asian babes are Silver's domain, aye, I myself having a particular fondness for the woman/sword combo. Yeah, it's Freudian, so what?  I like women, I like swords, makes sense.
 

  Which reminds me, you've hit your 400th post Stubby. Congratulations!

 Aye then, my work here is done, for now...

[Stubby]

OrlopRat, my hero!!! Tis true,  I have broken 400 posts and one other thing is also very true....I LOVE SWORDS & HARLEYS   I've always loved Harleys, but never thought too much about swords....till now!! I never realized how much swords and Harleys have in common...they go together like cows and milk (another 'utterly' stupid attempt at humor).  Actually, Harleys and swords have absolutley NOTHING in common, but the person ON the Harley, HOLDING the sword sure does bond the two, huh? Thanks Orlo, and now I can't wait to see what I get for my 410th post!!!

[Silver Sorrow]

Wasn't there a Night Stalker episode about a Harley-riding ghost with a sword? Okay, it was something like that: Chopper. 

Stomping on my territory? Not at all! We have Gong Li, grave desecration, Gong Li's left breast, babes with swords, Gong Li's right breast, and personal injury inflicted by Gong Li's breasts. I'm in my element here, amigos. 

Gong Li squeezing into a pair of jeans, now....that would be interesting...until then, let's continue the theme:

This makes me think of the mail, for some reason.


She looks unhappy. Someone send the economy into an unrecoverable tailspin in an attempt to make her smile, damn it!


Ann Curry is astounded, and her co-star agrees: impressive. Most impressive.


It's right about this point that I would normally break out the Yoko Matsugane, but...I won't. I'm very much evil that way.

...instead, here's Miyabi Isshiki:

 



Personally, I think Freud would have a field day with this thread. Because he probably liked 'em big, too.

ANYWAY, I'll try and recapture some of that fleeting civilization thingamawhatsit by posting something OTHER than bouncy babes right now. I know, I know: boo. But it's okay. It'll all be okay. 

Exhibit A, Mass Effect: What happens when you save on the Petitioner's Plank (or whatever) in the Citadel Tower, then reload later?


Exhibit B, Mass Effect: Preparing oneself for shattering disappointment: so you spend hours cleaning up and "repairing" the Mercenary armor texture; you put it on Shepard and (figuratively) click your heels in joy at doing SOMETHING right for once, but in the back of your mind you know what people are going to ask: "Where'd you get that new Garrus face!!?"


*sigh* Before you ask, you can get it from right here, under "Garrus' Face Retexture (white markings with blue tinge) by Groggy Golem". 

Exhibits C, D, and E, Oblivion: I reworked the Xianxi face (from my OB mod) from this:


...to this...


...and this:


Not a huge difference, but I did "normalize" her features to the point where she looks NORMAL, rather than a composite of big cheekbones and really black eyes. Oh, and I renamed "Silvertongue" (the sword she's holding) to "Silversong". If I ever release an update, that update will reflect the change. You read it here first, folks.

Exhibit F, Insanity:
Do I like this color, or this color? Hmm...I think I like this color better.

And, finally...

Exhibit G, as in: "Gee, I wonder what's wrong on this page?
Click here, it's a screencap. Look closely!

Yes, I was looking at blueberry muffin mix. It's one of the few things in this world that makes me happy anymore. And yes, you could tell from the cap that I interrupted whatever I was doing with TexMod to look up blueberry muffin mix. I don't question these impluses. I just do them. What bothers me the most is why I keep relegating "blueberry" to proper noun status. Sure, they're great...but why do I keep typing "Blueberry"??

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[Joshua-kun]

Thanks Orlo, and now I can't wait to see what I get for my 410th post!!!

Y'know, Stubby.  I found this, and was going to save it for your 410th post, but I thought, what the heck!  Let's start the celebration early.  *cough*

 

 

Wow, they should not let people like me have access to Photobucket.

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[Stubby]

Ah, you sort of caught me off guard with this one!! But yeah you're right Joshua-kun, they shouldn't allow people like you to have access to Photobucket!! Hey Starfox, can I restart my post count, starting with 1? For some odd reason, I have no desire to achieve my 410th post!!! If not, then I will have no other choice then to let Gong Li perform Hari-Kari on me and, at least, you'll know that I went out with a LARGE smile on my face!! My fate is in your hands Starfox...choose wisely, Young Grasshopper!!

Now, back to you Joshua-kun!! I think I know what you're trying to do....you want your 'biker' to meet up with the one OrlopRat sent me in the hopes they would ride off into the sunset together and live happily everafter, right? Well, my friend, IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!! She's mine..ALL mine..mine..mine..mine!!! See, what you don't know is that your plan can never work....Bobdog was gracious enough to loan me his cats and Silver was more than happy to give me his brides, so you see, there is NO WAY your puny biker could ever break through the barrier of protection I've provided.  However, if that wasn't your intentions, well then I guess I'll just feel like a complete ass!! But, a well protected ass!!