Author Topic: And So On  (Read 50487 times)

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2011, 02:45:36 PM »
I thought of what might have been a fun crossover episode between "NCIS" and "Bones," but giving it more thought, I decided that it would be a one-joke situation, no matter what I did to it. That didn't stop the Scary Movie franchise, but still...think about it:

What If Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs Was In Charge Of The Jeffersonian's Lab For A Day?

Scene: a lot of nervous, frightened geniuses working quietly at their tasks, each one sporting a large, bulky bandage on the back of his or her skull.

...and that's it, really. I admit, the scene where Angela and Bones are babbling about their feelings and their sex lives (ANGELA: You should have more sex! I have it all the time anywhere with anything and I feel great! That is, until my vagina swelled up like an inflatable raft and turned green! BONES: I agree! But I just have to throw in a stilted, over-educated fact about the sex drives of the pre-adolescent females in an obscure aboriginal South American tribe, using my weird voice!) and Angela calls Bones "sweetie" fifteen times, and Gibbs walks in and delivers an impressive double head-smack...that would be awesome. And Hodgins diving under a table and crying whenever Gibbs walked in. That would be great, too.

I have yet to figure out what DiNozzo and McGee would be doing.

Action: Ziva bouncing Bones' skull off the tiles a few times while Gibbs bitch-slaps Booth? That's Emmy material right there.

DISCLAIMER: I have nothing against "Bones" whatsoever; it's one of my favorite shows. But "NCIS" is my favorite show, and I tend to favor Gibbs' approach to people talking about their feelings when they should be solving a mystery. This, in itself, is a perfect example of why these shows should never, ever cross. :ss-ahhhh

Oh, almost forgot. Boobs.


And some more.


And.

An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #16 on: August 05, 2011, 08:18:42 PM »
The new Conan movie: I don't think it will be as good as the original. Sure, the CGI and SFX will probably kick ass, but...no. Think what you will of Schwarzeneggar, the man has presence; when I saw him in his Conan outfit, I thought, "Hey, that's CONAN!" But when I see the new guy, whoever he is, I think "Oh, hey...that's the guy they hired to play Conan. Huh."

I admit to being biased -- Arnold was one of the greatest action heroes in the 1980's, after all (it took a friggin' CGI T-Rex to derail his career!) -- but mostly I'm disgusted with the constant reboots of movies that should be left alone. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a reboot -- which sounds so much more modern and hip than "unnecessary remake" -- of Gone With The Wind starring Kristen Bell (you might remember her from her makeup commercial wherein she demonstrates that not only does she have the chilling, beady little eyes of a remorseless psychopathic murderess, she's also wholly unremarkable in every other way) and Andy...Andy....Andy Whatsisname. Samberg. That's him. I hate that guy. (He's that dipshit from SNL...remember when such people were stoned to death? How I miss those days.) The plot of which will be about SIX AND A HALF HOURS LONG (every ex-SNL cast-infested movie feels about that long), featuring, among other soul-withering scenes, Scarlett gyrating to Rhett's heartfelt song about how he can't help ejaculating in his pants and down his leg** every time he sees her.
[** Which is, I think, an apt description of modern filmmaking in general.]

One memorable scene will feature a special appearance by Miley Cyrus, headlining the CONCERT FOR TARA! event that Scarlett organizes to save Tara, in which the young madame Cyrus will shove a large watermelon into her vagina, shake her hips a few times, and then machine-gun the seeds out of her ass with impressive precision.

If you want to know where I'll be, I'll be the guy handing out straight razors by the theater doors.


EDIT: That's yet another post where I've used the word "vagina." I hope this isn't a trend. Oh and I forgot the boobies. My apologies.


For some reason, I started singing "swing low, sweet chariot..." Coincidence.

...I looked over Susan, what did I see, comin' for to carry me home...
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 08:29:31 PM by Silver Sorrow »
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2012, 06:56:53 PM »
Quote
Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

Sound advice, but that would imply that I have something new and/or different to say, while in reality I'm just grumbling in the same way.

Anyway, yes: it was August of last year when I last posted in this thread, and life has indeed gotten so much worse than I like. Not to worry, as life never was that friggin' spectacular to begin with. Now it's just a lot smellier and far less hopeful...

...and speaking of the new Conan movie, it really was as stupid and pointless as I'd figured. On the plus side, the CGI was better, but not good enough to distract me from the fact that at no point did someone turn into a snake. Deplorable.

Let's see...I've been ignoring Game Of Thrones with all my might, as I hate popular trends (my wardrobe is a testament to that fact). For example, I didn't acknowledge Firefly until five years after it was cancelled. (That's one I still kick myself over; maybe if I sent a box of severed puppy heads to Fox, it'd still be on the air...not that I'd be able to see it in the nuthatch, but still.)

But I figure that since Game of Thrones is one season down, I can go ahead and see it without risking my Aloof-Cool cred.**  So I watched the first couple of episodes, and...let's just say that while I found the acting to be quite good...as far as I could tell...I was also bewildered by the lore and stuff.

[** This is something I do with TV shows now: I missed a good chunk of Terra Nova and Falling Skies during their first runthroughs, and I just figured I'd see them when they came out on DVD. I'm having to do that with regular TV shows, as the local network affiliates love pasting weather maps and moving text banners all over the screen to the point where I've forgotten what the characters even look like. If I had to pick them out of a lineup, I'd insist that someone past a big multi-colored digital map over the subjects' heads. "That one is definitely Jim Parsons," I might be caught on record as saying, "and it looks like a bunch of shit-splat towns to the south are going to be ruthlessly sprinkled upon until 9:35pm. Stay with TV-9, we'll keep you hysterical."]

I've never read the books, so I was completely unfamiliar with the material. I was wondering if someone was going to explain any of this crap at some point, but no; it was just taken for granted that anyone watching has already read the books -- and most likely has a tattoo of a dire wolf on their ass -- and knows the background backwards and forwards, and probably has a detailed map of the fantasy world tucked away somewhere. Or tattooed on the other ass cheek.

However, if you have the DVDs you can browse the bonus material, which includes a wealth of information...however, I don't have a TV so as to read gigantic blocks of tiny text; this is why books exist. I wondered if I should be taking notes and committing any of this to memory, as it was irritatingly overwhelming to someone (i.e., me) who gets confused and weepy when the plot twists on C.S.I. get too complicated. ("Holy shit! You mean there were FOUR kids born from that one egg?? F*** me with a beaker!")

But if you prefer to let the lore wash over you and just watch the nudity, that's your choice. I was somewhat surprised at how much nudity was involved, but then I remembered that this is an HBO production, which is engineered to keep EVERYONE interested. ("If You're Not Into Fantasy And/Or Intrigue, Stay For The Doggy-Style Simulations!") While nowhere near a Caligula level, I would not recommend watching this with children present or even your mother. Just a specific scene from the first episode alone, where it's strongly suggested that a dwarf is being carnally gobbled with great avidity by a whore, is enough to convince you that you shouldn't let anyone know you watch this show at all. ("No, no...I only watch it for the gestalt fantasy...whatever...look, just leave me alone!")

Speaking of disturbing, the show features Lena Headey in a prominent role. Prior to this, the only other thing I'd noticed her in was the Sarah Connor Chronicles, whereupon I remarked "Hey...they found someone even MORE unlikeable than Linda Hamilton! INCREDIBLE!" She continues this trend of hateful, being even more unlikeable than her Sarah Connor role, if that's possible. That she's a blonde makes it worse, somehow.

The rest of the show is okay, and I look forward to the second season DVD arriving in that little red envelope. After I see Johnny English Reborn, that is.

Enough from me. I have no boobs for you this time, as I'm running late...I can't miss the reruns, after all.  ::)
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline OrlopRat

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Re: And So On
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2012, 07:14:51 AM »
 I'm one of those people who read the books, well, the first three anyway, I just started the fourth.  It's big, and if I drop it I may injure the cats. I will be careful.

   I have not dire wolf tattoo though, but I do have a tattoo of Daenerys Targaryen upside down on my left thigh. Please don't think about that too hard... :ss-ahhhh

    The lore kind of sorts itself out as it goes along, I read the first book years ago and my brain being what it is I'd forgotten everything by the time the series came on TV. It's coming back to me. The series is remarkably faithful to the books, which is odd.

    Speaking of which, the "adult" content that will send the kiddies screaming from the room to become deviant serial killers and goat rapists is not so much HBO as it is the books themselves. Which, of course, was just gravy for HBO, who would have put it in if it hadn't been there to begin with (heh heh, I said put it in...heh heh, chortle....)

  And so yes, I guess I'm a fan, as much as I can be a "fan" of anything...


   Yeah, that's a little embarrassing. Oh dear god, I'm a geek....
Tiens, voilĂ  du boudin...

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2012, 10:14:57 AM »
I would say "I'm averse to reading books that can crush a small child if dropped from shoulder height," but I used to read Stephen King, so I can't honestly tout that as a character trait.  :P

Strange, now that I think about it: in school, while my friends were reading Robert Jordan, I was reading Douglas Adams. Hmmm.

Quote
Please don't think about that too hard...

What do you me--oh. Ah. I see. Well...I admit to something similar concerning a lovely rendition of Tia Carrere on one thigh and a crude line drawing of Grace Park on the other. However, I will not reveal which lives where. Some things should remain a mystery.

Anyway, I'll have to start reading them, if only to get away from what's readily available to me (for example: I've had it with Clive Cussler  :ss-disbelief).

The good thing about "adult" content is that if the story starts to drag, you can throw in some humping.  :ok:  Although I will say that I am fortunate in that I have never had to take it from a goat by force. They've always been rather accommodating.  ;D

But don't worry...there are far more shameful things than being a fan of high fantasy. None spring to mind right now, but... :biglaugh:   Okay, I'll try:

"On my left upper thigh I have an upside-down tattoo of Garth Brooks. On my right is Tim McGraw. If I squeeze 'em together it looks like they're kissin'. But that hurts my nuts so I don't do that too often."

Translation: country music is a shameful thing that leads to deviant self-abuse.

"On my left, Jon Anderson. On my right, Keith Emerson. If I squeeze--"

Further translation: Prog Rock is a shameful thing that leads to deplorable behavior and loss of income, unless you know where to download it for free.

"Left: Mariah Carey. Right: Miley Cyrus."

Fundamental translation: Music itself is the key to self-destruction, if in fact what those two do can be called "music".

You know, if I squint and turn my head a little, my Grace Park looks a bit like Jimmy Page...

Summary: I'll pick up the first of the books soon.


Random brain-fart: I'm not sure why my ancestors decided to stop HERE. They saw wide open land and thought, "hey, now this is WAY better than what we've seen so far!" Then spring came and giant funnel clouds dropped out of the sky killing everything. I'm not sure what their thinking was at this point -- "I'd pick up stakes and head further west until I hit the ocean, but seein' as how it took forever to get those permits for my sod house, I'd be a fool to throw this all away." -- but as for me I'd keep moving.

Then again, there's really nowhere perfectly safe in the world. If it isn't tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, or mudslides, there's also tsunamis, monsoons, and those nasty burning threads that can only be destroyed by dragons.

Reminds me: a few months back we had some trouble with earthquakes, too. While my dumpster shook merrily, no harm was done. I contrast this with the trials suffered by a town near the epicenter, which boasted some nice damage. No one died, as far as I know, but one woman had her ceramic knick-knacks shaken off her mantlepiece, which, as you've no doubt guessed already, made the evening news. Her kitties hit the carpet and I was surprised I didn't see Obama in a chopper overhead, surveying the cataclysm for himself.
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #20 on: June 17, 2012, 12:27:59 AM »
More Random Thoughts, Courtesy Of Various Circumstances I Do Not Want To Think About.

1. I do believe my neighbor finally cleaned his pool. My window overlooks his back yard, although my desk is at such an angle that I only see it when I come back from one of my many trips to the bathroom.* I have watched it from last summer until a couple of weeks ago, where it went from a beautiful blue to a murky greenish black over the course of the changing seasons. Uncovered, too. And he has dogs...and preteen kids, I believe, although I ignore the children, seeing as how they are far more quiet than his dogs, which I loathe.

In fact, I was hoping that the state of the pool would degenerate to the point where, eventually, a tentacle would snake out of the ooze and snag that goddamn squeaky rat my neighbor calls a pet. A "whoosh!", a strangled "yip!", a splash, the crunching of bones, and an underwater burp. It makes me smile, god help me.

2. I finished the fourth Song of Ice and Fire book, aka the 4th Game of Thrones book, to those who disregard the actual titles of series. (I blame HBO. And God.) The fifth comes out in paperback -- the 9x6 paperback, I mean -- at the end of August, so I have plenty of time to puzzle out just what the hell I've just read. So far, I've concluded:

  • Bad things happen to EVERYONE, but more to good people than bad people. Of course, it's the bad people doing all of the bad things, and some of the good people are 1) not that good in the first place, or 2) are too stupid to realize that being good is the surest path to being dismembered, or 3) make one little mistake and die horribly for it, or 4) exist only to suffer.
  • There sure are a lot of people talking about their roosters. My rooster this, my rooster that, I'd be more religious if I could worship with my rooster...very confusing.
  • Catelyn Stark was a complete asshole.

And so on.

[* I have looked into this strange dilemma, and it seems that perhaps drinking 132 ounces of liquid -- within the space of two hours -- is not ideal for one desirous of a languid evening watching Frasier reruns. No doubt a doctor would smile benevolently upon me if it was, in fact, WATER I was drinking; however, I suspect that the doctor in question would have many unkind statements about my habits, my looks, and perhaps even my ancestry, were he or she to learn that the drinks were: a cherry Sprite Route 44 slush (from Sonic), the cup having been refilled twice with Sprite (from my own stash). Then again, if I'm going to be jumping up every hour on the hour to pee, I'm sure as hell going to enjoy whatever I'm drining. I unreservedly hate water, bottled or from the tap. So there.]
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #21 on: December 01, 2013, 09:23:01 PM »
A year and a half between posts in this thread. Why not.

I was thinking of starting a jazz-oriented strip club. I'd call it "Filthy's Trumpet." One of the requirements would be that dancers would have to be able to dance in 7/8 time.

Far less clever but far more complicated is the second strip club I'd open, called "Ma-HO-vishnu's OrcheSEXtra," which would feature a loud, yet hopefully competent fusion band with strippers dancing effortlessly through 7/4 and 13/8 changes...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of seeing police procedural shows featuring scenes in strip joints wherein the dancers shake their saline bags to boring old 4/4 songs. Can you bounce in odd time? And now for a terrible and somewhat obscure jazz-fusion drummer-slash-stripper reference: Narada Michelle Wild-On.

Sucks, but that's life.
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Starfox

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Re: And So On
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2013, 06:06:10 AM »
What? No more boobs?  :funup:

On a completely unrelated (but true) note, I've discovered that my computer is possessed. The other day I was replaying a part of Dragon Age Origin (it's been ages). Remember the little bit in the Denerim alienage with the templar Ser Otto? So there he goes and what I get is (true story):

"I'm happy to make your acquaint... (devil voice)... and now we'll see if your maker can protect you!"

Yep, that's Ser Otto mixed up with the demon you chase with him later in the same quest. Hilarious. I've totally no idea of why this happened or how (I suspected for a while Silver hacking my computer to mess with the sound files but.... nah).

It happened a couple of time in the past but nothing particularly amusing resulted from this "bug" before. However since it only occurs in DA:O I should say that my copy of DA:O is possessed rather than my whole computer.

Unrelated: you know that you've been playing too much old school RPG when you try to rest after a battle in DA:O  :hammerhead:

Oh and, sorry I don't have any boobs picture at hand (well sure there's a gazillion on the web but most of them are not for display on our site  :lol: )

And now I'm off to find some holy water.. One never knows.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2013, 05:08:58 AM by Starfox »


Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -- A. Einstein

Offline SlyFoxx

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Re: And So On
« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2013, 07:00:25 PM »
I was going to approve of the boobies but I see that I already did so two years ago! ;D

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2013, 10:12:08 PM »
Encourage away! Boobies need constant encouragement, otherwise you get idiots trying to cast the new Wonder Woman with a model whose shape is reminiscent of a 2x6 plank...

...oh, son of a bitch:ss-disbelief

I admit, I strayed from the path. I forgot to post boobs. But I'll try to make amends with a classic:


And by "classic" I mean "rapidly-aging asshat"...but I will say that the pose is rather neat. :ok:  Still, I'll try to do better. No, I WILL do better. Right now.





















Okay, now that's just ridiculous. But I love her anyway.

To summarize:



DAO: That sounds like a fun bug, at least. :ss-ahhhh  Still, you know they'll never fix it.

"I don't see anywhere in the patch notes that they've exorcised the demons of the last build. I'm just tired of my walls bleeding everytime I launch the game."
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline bobdog

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Re: And So On
« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2013, 06:10:13 AM »
I like how you used the gradation method, like they do for eggs: medium, large, extra large, extra extra large -- all the way to "HOLY GAZUNGAS!!!" large. Nice spacial arrangement, sir!

 :onethumb:

Offline Lord Mantrid

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Re: And So On
« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2013, 10:40:14 AM »
I heard there were boobs.
Spoiler
valv softwer is 3d relms in teh futuer!!!!!!111!1!1one1!

Offline OrlopRat

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Re: And So On
« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2013, 07:59:03 AM »
Me too. There's nothing like the mention of boobs to get some of us to crawl out of the woodwork.


I'm definitely spending too much time on Facebook. I just spent a few valuable seconds looking for the "Like" button. I really need to reset my interweb priorities... oh wait, there it is...

 :hammerhead:
Tiens, voilĂ  du boudin...

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #28 on: December 08, 2013, 09:28:11 PM »
Quote
Nice spacial arrangement, sir!

Why, thank you. :purplelaugh:

Quote
I heard there were boobs.

You heard right, sir!

I should really add that button to the smileys list.  :ok:

How did the human race show appreciation for things before Facebook and the Like button? I think it had something to do with rampant physical assaults and restraining orders, but I'm not sure. I have the short-term memory of a goldfish!

Another taste. Not too much, but enough. Pffffft. It's NEVER enough!







[Possible caption: "Do you wonder why your friends get more attention than you?"]
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: And So On
« Reply #29 on: December 15, 2013, 09:14:21 PM »
A few things.

1. I have a hard time justifying the purchase of Christmas movies.

I could explain that further, but I think the statement stands on its own.

2. I *objectively* -- that is, no taste-test ulterior motive -- tried Pepsi (caffeine-free, natch) for the first time in perhaps 25 years. Pretty good. Although to be honest, it tasted like a cross between Coke and Dr. Pepper. The after-taste is a little odd, but I'm probably imagining it. Hey...were these azaleas always so friendly? Hope i'm nott .. drufffjjeddffgge

3. Saw what was apparently an off-duty stripper in a ornament-buying frenzy at Wal-Mart. Okay, honestly...I'm not *sure* she was a stripper. She could've been a bikini bartender or a "massage therapist," or even a sixth grade teacher, for all I know. And here I'll admit that my preconceptions could be construed as sexist. But you tell me:  Filipina, in incredible shape, obvious implants (grapefruit-sized), face piercings, tattoos. So, yeah: she could be a church secretary and the nicest person in the entire world. But my bet is an "entertainer" of some kind. No reason she couldn't do all of those things, really.

To be fair to her, if I were to turn that judgemental eye upon myself (something even Dr. Lecter couldn't do), I come across as a diffident, needlessly apologetic, clinically-depressed slob who looks as if he needs to pee.

4. Word of the day!

misoneism

\ mis-oh-NEE-iz-uhm, mahy-soh- \, noun;

Hatred or dislike of what is new or represents change.


5. Boobs. Sofia is our guest tonight.





My favorite, obviously:


Whoever came up with this outfit should have his or her head examined.


Finally, something from her other, yet equally alluring, side. A bit of a dress malfunction.


6. I've been playing the Shadow Warrior reboot. A review is in the works.
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

 

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