Author Topic: A List Of Grievances  (Read 2308 times)

Offline Silver Sorrow

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A List Of Grievances
« on: October 23, 2013, 12:18:25 PM »
Some people loved Skyrim. Others hated it. I'm of the "it's better than buying an XBox and sinking into sheep-like complacency" mind, which is to say: I have my problems with it, but it's not a terrible game.

But since I like complaining more than edifying, I thought I'd offer a couple of problems I've had with the game. Yeah, I know: who cares. But I find myself useless once again, so here I am.

1. You Just Can't Go On A Bloody Rampage In Town Anymore.
Half the NPCs in towns (it seems) are protected/essential. Because Cthulhu forbid you should accidentally/no-so-accidentally kill a quest-giver. After all, we wouldn't want to deprive the player of any of the hundreds of mind-numbingly tedious side quests available. For example, the dumbass lighthouse quest in Solitude. The damned lizard's marked essential, so if you decide to cleanse the streets of Solitude of mortal filth, he's going to keep coming after you. I hate that guy.

Oblivion was similar, but not as bad. The principal characters were essential, but you could still kill mostly everyone. Oblivion was far more fun when it came to cathartic massacres, I recall. Morrowind let you kill everyone (I think; it's been a while), but it had that pop-up that let you know that you were killing someone very, very important (i.e., "You just broke the main quest, you retard!").

That brings me to:


2. Insufferable Maggots, aka "Children."
No kids in Morrowind. No kids in Oblivion. People complained. Bethesda answered by adding in a bunch of cookie-cutter kids. Some people were dismayed by the fact that you cannot kill the kids. Someone made a mod. I don't have this mod as a) I ignore the little ankle-biters, and b) I'm just paranoid enough to worry that downloading such a mod might put me on some sort of subversives list and one morning I'll notice that my Corn-Pops taste a little funny and the next thing I know I'm regaining consciousness in a windowless interrogation room to be screamed at by Children-First guerrilla mommies.


3. I Don't Really Like The Combat.
I didn't like Morrowind's combat at all; Block was a useless joke, and unless you were really good at a weapon skill and/or had some sort of Fortify Attack enhancer, you'd miss a lot at point-blank range. Oblivion, however, was a step in the right direction...it still had its ludicrous moments (having my Daedric claymore's otherwise deadly chop mitigated by some pissant mage's last-millisecond block with an iron war axe, for example), but the moment a kamikaze rat clonked into my shield, well...that was a great thing.

Skyrim's weapon and blocking system leaves a lot to be desired. It all feels so...plastic, like I'm fighting with realistically-colored toys. Besides the speed of the various weapons' attack and their damage rating, they're essentially the same. Pick up an axe, use a sword, makes no difference.

And Block. Well. While I like the bashing feature, it just doesn't have that solid bulwark feeling of Oblivion's shields.


4. The NPCs Look Stupid.
The human races look okay (remember how ugly OB's NPCs were? WOOF.), but the elves are shit. The beast races...I've never been a fan of the beast races since Oblivion. They're pretty much humanoids with animal heads (cat, lizard, pig)...in Skyrim, they took that once step further by making the Argonians look like velociraptors. Creepy.


5. The Armor Is Awful.
I think the only armors in the game I truly like are the Thieves Guild armor and the Dawnguard light armor. Oh, and the Elven is okay. The rest of it is patently ridiculous. From Conan-like furs to what looks like what happens if someone bedazzled a football uniform (Glass), I can't take any of it seriously.


That's enough of my stupid opinions for the moment. I am woozy from hunger. While meat may be murder, it's tasty murder.
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline Starfox

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Re: A List Of Grievances
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2013, 02:39:30 PM »
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No kids in Morrowind. No kids in Oblivion. People complained. Bethesda answered by adding in a bunch of cookie-cutter kids.

Well that may have to do with the fact that according to the latest surveys 43% of all gamers are female (in France; 46% in North America). So guess what? Babies! I know, those numbers are surprising but that's because there are possibly a huge number of people on gaming related forums who pretend to be male while they are not.

And don't look at me that way  >:( ... :lol:

Clearly Bethesda didn't include children -- and especially the possibility to adopt some -- to please the male population of gamers.

So I say to all the female gamers out there... Get out of the closet already! No point in hiding.


Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -- A. Einstein

Offline The Rogue Wolf

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Re: A List Of Grievances
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2013, 05:08:00 PM »
You like the Elven armor? Yuck. It looks like Roman armor reimagined as a Diablo 3 angelic armor set by a drunken manga artist. (Though still, at least it doesn't look as stupid as this. Some people must believe that women have no vital organs worth protecting below the breasts.)

I personally like the beast race looks in Skyrim, except for the fact that both Khajiit and Argonian females have necks so thin that they look like they should snap in a stiff breeze. The saurian look for the lizardfolk is actually interesting to me.

The children... yeah. It's kind of dumb that they got put in just as "background flavor" and yet there's literally two models (Nord boy and Nord girl). I suppose it would have somehow killed them to put in at least some other human types- I'll buy that the beastfolk wouldn't want to procreate so far from their homes (seeing as how their forms are actually dependent on some weird magical stuff, and Skyrim gives human-looking beastfolk short enough shrift), and Elves probably just don't pop out kids all that often, but there's no excuse for the other human races to not have brats running around.

The Elder Scrolls games need to pick up some fighting lessons from other games. I've heard Dark Souls did some great stuff with melee combat. And for the love of God, if I put an arrow through the head of an ordinary human bandit who isn't even wearing a helmet, HE SHOULD DROP LIKE A SACK OF MEAT. (Of course, we're talking about an arrow that's worth a pile of skeever crap, which leaves out Falmer and Forsworn.)
"Choice one: we flank them using what military men called tactics, and what religious men call divine inspiration. Or, we charge at them head on screaming various obscenities, in what military men call bravery and religious men also call divine inspiration."

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: A List Of Grievances
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2013, 08:54:10 PM »
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Babies!

I do believe you're right. Then there's building and decorating your own home(s), adopting orphans, and cooking and crafting and...

...crap. It's Home Economics with swords! :ss-ahhhh

Well...not to bash Home Ec, really; I did learn how to make snickerdoodle cookies. Cream of tartar?? Who knew!

Quote
You like the Elven armor? Yuck. It looks like Roman armor reimagined as a Diablo 3 angelic armor set by a drunken manga artist.

A fair...and accurate...description.  :lol:  I only tolerate it due to Cabal's elven retex (the dark version). Otherwise, yes: yuck. While it looks good on the Thalmor, it's downright crappy on my character.

It's back to the conundrum of Oblivion's Glass armor, though: no matter what I did to it, it still sucked.

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Some people must believe that women have no vital organs worth protecting below the breasts.

What the next TES needs is a sort of character feedback system. Others can watch you play and make pointed comments about what you're wearing. "Seriously? You walk around like that?" and "Watermelon-sized breasts? NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT! I'm sending a screenshot of this to your mother. You should be ashamed."

Well...maybe not. Definitely not, knowing how the majority works: "lol wut u doin thier u fagot" and so on.

I forgot to mention the Blades armor being one of my favorites...but again, it's due to Cabal's work. The standard textures are just utter crap.

While I'm okay with the Khajiit (the best of the bunch) and the Orcs, the thing that bothers me about the Argonians is that they aren't very expressive. Recall in Oblivion that when you were in conversation with an Argonian who didn't like you, his eyes would narrow, he'd bare his teeth...that's what I'm missing. But that's a problem with most of the NPCs anyway. Every single one is a blank-faced mannequin.

So really, I'd like the beast races more if they had more visual personality. But you never talk to them for very long anyway, nor do you get a close look at them. Because...


6. There Is No Speechcraft Mini-Game.
I miss it. There's no real point to having one, as you can persuade, threaten, or bribe NPCs, but I miss it anyway. Particularly Oblivion's; I got pretty good at the wheel thingy. I also miss stats and abilities and...but that's another entry entirely.


Professor Fate: Stupid kids.

FO3 had a few instances where kids could be important, so it's a mystery to me why Bethesda didn't capitalize on...okay, it's not a mystery. They do the least amount of work possible. Still, I am fortunate to know that there's one girl in Whiterun who helps her mother in the marketplace and that it's hard work and...

Locational body damage.  :ok:  Plus, I kind of miss V.A.T.S....
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.

Offline bobdog

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Re: A List Of Grievances
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2013, 07:00:16 AM »
My 2 cents on the armor: I didn't care what I looked like because I played in first-person and I never SAW my armor. I just cared what its ratings were and how it protected me. If that meant I was wearing several different armor types, I was okay with that.

RE: kids, the Fable series also allows you to adopt kids, but maybe a lot of women play those games?

To my mind, the best open-world, first-person RPG that's been out recently is Fallout 3 and New Vegas. Skyrim just sort of annoyed me.

But some of us have moved on, and don't like to dicker around with mods, recolors, replays, etc....  :funup:

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: A List Of Grievances
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2013, 05:34:36 PM »
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I didn't care what I looked like because I played in first-person and I never SAW my armor.

I think you're playing it wrong. :lol:  You're supposed to be obsessive about how you look and how well the armor pieces match up...armor ratings, etc. fly in the face of the "look good while fetching random crap for random NPCs" mechanic. Bottom line: if you're not spending hundreds (or thousands) of dollars upgrading your system just so you can run 4k textures PLUS the most hardcore ENB settings imaginable, you're not really serious about RPGs. I mean, come on: if you're not sending death threats to the devs over the inbearable catastrophe of the legs of your armor clipping through your boots, you're not living!

:computermad:

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But some of us have moved on, and don't like to dicker around with mods, recolors, replays, etc....

Now, now...no need to be bitter. We'll find you a pretty character, don't you worry.  ;D

Correction: maybe not so much "pretty" as "terrifying." Still...
An interview with Kim Kardashian? Who wants to see that? I'd rather see an interview with the mortician's assistant who had to piece her head back together so they could have an open-casket funeral.