Author Topic: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days  (Read 1108 times)

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #30 on: August 21, 2021, 12:36:17 PM »
I...wait. Huh. I'm not really sure. People have said that the meaning of "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" was (at best) enigmatic, perhaps even (at worst) impenetrable, but I now suspect that Peter Gabriel may have been making a frustration-fueled observation about garlic permeating *everything*. In this case, the bodies of his character Rael's three Lamia lovers who had died after their lovemaking (or, a "menage a cuatro" as French-Mexicans call it), and which Rael subsequently consumed.

"I would be enjoying the blissful scent of chocolate right now," he seems to be implying through Rael's grief, "but what, did they BATHE in garlic??" Silent sorrow in empty boats, indeed.

I could speculate further that the garlic was what facilitated Rael's inevitable transformation into a slimy-lump covered slubberdegullion on squeaky feet (aka, a Slipperman), which required him to seek out Docter Dyper (reformed sniper) who then emasculated him. His penis was placed into a yellow plastic tube (for safekeeping, apparently)...and then stolen by a raven. Then: a chase scene, and a dive into some rapids to effect the daring rescue of his brother John...who turns out to be himself.

All because of the overuse of garlic. Remember, kids: moderation in all things.
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Starfox

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #31 on: August 23, 2021, 10:07:48 AM »
Quote
"What," I began reasonably, "the hell," I continued censored-ly, "is an aubergine?"

The amusing part here is that in fact "aubergine" is a French word that Brits steal from us when they want to do fancy cuisine :lol:



Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -- A. Einstein

Offline Doc_Brown

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #32 on: August 23, 2021, 12:13:11 PM »
And I had originally mistaken it for ambergris.  :hammerhead:

I've noticed that's something my brain does--takes a word or phrase and swaps it out for something similar.  For instance, somehow grok got turned into gronk sometime ago and I've been using it wrong ever since.  It's more fun with phrases, though, since I usually end up swapping only part of the expression.  Something like, "I don't have a dog in this fight," gets crossed with "I don't have a horse in this race," and comes out as "I don't have a dog in this race."
Roads?  Where we're going we don't need roads.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #33 on: August 25, 2021, 09:59:34 AM »
The amusing part here is that in fact "aubergine" is a French word that Brits steal from us when they want to do fancy cuisine :lol:

Those wacky Brits. "Appropriating -- And Then Mispronouncing -- Your Language Since Time Immemorial!"

[For the sake of my relatively-genial mood this morning, I will not go into their pronunciation of "tacos" as "tay-cos." You're welcome.]

"Haricots verts" still bothers me. I bothers me a lot. I've learned to dampen my rage down to a kind of seething, poisonous hatred, but at least I haven't shot any TVs lately.

And here's my biggest problem with the pretentious terminology: the show was supposed to be about home cooks. Not people slaving away in a kitchen under the jaundiced eye of a rage-fueled madman, but a few people who were pretty good at salvaging Sunday's leftover chicken. But then they got all fancy and before you knew it, there were housewives crying their eyes out over technical gaffes that wouldn't even occur to most people.

For a generalized example, some poor woman from a tiny village in northern England might make a dessert, and Mary Berry -- who is otherwise probably the nicest person on the face of the Earth -- berates her (in a civilized way) that the puff pastry isn't fluffy enough. The woman gets a little depressed and a little teary-eyed but, being of sterner stock, carries on.

[American Equivalent: the home baker, a malignant narcissist (and possible full-blown psychotic) goes on a profanity-laden rant about how wrong the judge was, how much better she is than the other contestants, and how she's A Force To Be Reckoned With and they'd better watch out because she's gonna be somebody someday and then she'll crush them all like the bugs they are.]

See, when I hear the term "home cook," it brings to mind ordinary people who are just trying to make a good dinner for the snotty ingrates in his or her home. My mother, for example, who really didn't like to cook, but HAD to do so. She had a few go-to recipes that kept us alive over the years, but her enthusiasm for the task was dampened severely by picky eaters and variety-cravers. A sampling of comments:

"Lemon-pepper chicken again? Mannnn...can't we just call out for a pizza?" [Me.]

"Meatloaf again? This is the third time this month! Can't we have something different?" [My dad.]

"I'm so sick of tuna casserole. It sucks. Call out for a pizza!" [Her.]

In summary: a successful home cook prepares meals, using whatever's at hand, that are good enough to keep their families alive, but not so bad that they inspire mutiny.

And I had originally mistaken it for ambergris.  :hammerhead:

Whale puke...eggplant...same thing, really.  ;D

Quote
I've noticed that's something my brain does--takes a word or phrase and swaps it out for something similar.  For instance, somehow grok got turned into gronk sometime ago and I've been using it wrong ever since.  It's more fun with phrases, though, since I usually end up swapping only part of the expression.  Something like, "I don't have a dog in this fight," gets crossed with "I don't have a horse in this race," and comes out as "I don't have a dog in this race."

My, my. Early Onset Sorta-Malapropism, or EOSM, as it's called. Serious stuff. No cure is known, but it can be amusing.

For example:

EOSM Sufferer: Now that's a cat of a different color!

Victim: ...what??

EOSM: Uh... [realizing that their symptoms are flaring up and trying to cover] Yeah...look at it. That's definitely a calico, sure as I'm standing here."

Victim: [hits him with a folding metal chair]

My point? None, really; I just liked the idea of someone being whacked with a chair because of a cat.

...but really, yeah: I know what you mean.
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Doc_Brown

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #34 on: August 25, 2021, 12:47:56 PM »
I've been down this rabbit hole before, but I think it's less malapropisms and more mixed metaphors.  The troublesome thing about them is that they're combining two different sayings that are generally valid for what you were trying to express.  So you'll realize something's off with what you said, but attempting to dissect it only confuses you further because each part is correct, just not the whole.
Roads?  Where we're going we don't need roads.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #35 on: August 30, 2021, 10:33:57 AM »
One of my favorites:

We'll burn that bridge when we come to it!

Take a wonderfully mixed metaphor, run it through a translator, and then wonder why there are so many wars.  :ok:
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #36 on: September 07, 2021, 03:58:38 PM »
Two things for today:

1. A personal confession: it is with deep shame that I admit this, but I cannot live this lie anymore. I know it may come as a great shock to those who know me, but it's true: I could never really tell the difference between Linda Ronstadt and Pat Benatar.

Yes, question? You, the unfortunate-looking lad with the thing on his face. Speak up, squirrel!

Q: What about Laura Branigan?

A: I hate you.

Which leads me to #2...

2. When a woman you went to high school with posts on Facebook that her daughter has just turned 18, it is completely inappropriate to ask her if the birthday girl has an OnlyFans. I realize this...now.

In my defense, I just wanted to send her a few birthday bucks, maybe see her birthday suit...you know, that sort of thing. But I guess I'M the bad guy here. Jeez.
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #37 on: September 17, 2021, 10:10:00 PM »
Here's an IQ test for you. What's wrong with this picture?



Hints:

- The welcome mat isn't the answer. I insist that it is deeply sarcastic, thus I keep it.

- I did not take the picture.
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Doc_Brown

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #38 on: September 17, 2021, 10:28:08 PM »
At the risk of making myself look like an idiot, I'll take a guess:

Does the (what I presume to be a) screen/security door open outward?  Thus knocking over the delivery if you attempt to retrieve it?
Roads?  Where we're going we don't need roads.

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #39 on: September 18, 2021, 02:26:02 AM »
You just proved that you're smarter than at least three of Door Dash's drivers (yes, this has happened before).  :ok:

The pic was actually taken by the delivery driver herself and texted to me (they do this as proof of delivery; I don't know how common it is elsewhere). So either she saw nothing wrong with what she did (oblivious), or she knew exactly what she did (diabolical). Or it could be both. Psychopath.

I've run into some colorful delivery people...but not that many, thankfully. ("Interesting" people are fine for meeting on vacations or when selecting a proctologist, but not in connection with a chicken dinner.) It's mostly just ordinary people who want to just drop off the food and move on, but sometimes...

The guy who was wearing a dress, for example. And it wasn't even a pretty dress. I mean...okay, never mind. Point is: dude in a dress. And he seemed like he was expecting me to give him grief over it, but it didn't bother me. Just as long as my fries weren't cold, he could've been in full drag at the front of interstellar tranny conga line stretching all the way to Planet Ladyboy, for all I cared.

Clarification: just an average bespectacled guy wearing a sun dress. No attempt to glam it up or anything. Weird, but not as weird as it could have been, sadly. I wonder if he had lost or a bet, or something.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2021, 02:35:02 AM by Silver Sorrow »
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #40 on: September 29, 2021, 09:38:00 PM »
Unfocused Rant Of The Moment: Metallica
...specifically, their so-called "Black Album"

In 1991, I was very much over Metallica. I had graduated to bands who had a better grasp of what constituted "metal," much to the dismay of my family.

[Side Note: around that time, one of my (slightly older) cousins asked me "do you like them because they worship the devil?" Which I thought to be an ironic question, as she was a Garth Brooks fan. ::)]

So when their self-titled tribute to Spinal Tap (but without the humor or the talent) was released, I pretty much ignored it. I had other, better things to wreck my hearing with.

[Another side note, but relevant in a way: my sensibilities were questioned one day when someone noticed that, with my Walkman knock-off, I had two cassettes: Obituary's Cause of Death and Genesis' Foxtrot. What could I say? I'm weird. So what?]

So fast forward a distressing number of years to Metallica celebrating the 30th anniversary of their first hugely-successful hemorrhoid. (Further anal polyps would be produced, but this was the first.) They commemorated their descent into becoming bonafide rockstars by some sort of turd-polishing process (translation: "remastering") performed on the existing materal. This release was made even more cringe-inducing by an ego-stroking showcase of several dozen nobody bands covering their songs.

Check that: even though MOST of the bands are unremarkable nobodies (at least to me), they started off strong by showing what happens when you put Elton John, Yo-Yo Mah, and Miley Cyrus in a room together.

Personally, I would've sealed the doors and released the gas. But...never mind that.

Anyway, they apparently decided to record a cover of "Nothing Else Matters," which...actually isn't a bad song. But there's something about Miley that makes anything much worse than it should be. The woman is like a reverse King Midas, in that everything she touches turns to shit. Couldn't that ugly hairy hillbilly just wander into a woodchipper already??

Okay, again: never mind. But the covers keep getting press...and I wonder what it's really all about. Is it some sort of petulant defiance on Metallica's part, a middle finger to the people who dismissed this album as a sell-out bid for rockstardom? Is it a desperate bid to justify themselves by pointing out just how popular the material is? (Which also begs a couple of questions: what did they promise and/or how much did they pay those bands to cover their songs, and, if given the choice, how many of them would have chosen material from another album?) Or is it something else?

But, most importantly: who cares?
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers