Author Topic: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days  (Read 2121 times)

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2021, 03:34:13 AM »
Air fryer + corn dogs = success! From what I've been told, there are other foods I can cook in the thing. I must investigate this intriguing notion, as it seems like this could be useful in the future.

Had a good idea for a wake-up alarm: the footstep chain sound of the Haunt from Thief. You'll go from "...zzzzzz ma i don wanna go school zzzzzz..." to "I'm UP, goddammit! Pants? Who needs 'em!" in the blink of an eye. In fact, the Haunt sounds are a treasure trove for just that specific use. Caution: specific sounds may result in person-shaped holes in your walls.

[Inspiration: an audio hallucination at 2am. At least, I *think* it was just a brain blip. All I know is I'm not in any rush to get back to sleep now.]

Subject shift: The Nexus. You see this a lot: someone makes a mod. Person A praises the mod. Person B shits all over it. Person C makes a baffling demand that is far beyond the scope of the mod. Person D "wishes" (passive-aggressively) that the mod also did several other things. Person E can't figure out how to install the mod, despite the installation instructions being in a clean, size 48 font. Person F blames the mod for crashing his game; it turns out the person has another mod (or mods) installed that are the culprit (count on at least 300 back-and-forth messages between the idiot and an increasingly-frustrated and bewildered modder before that conclusion is reached). Person G can't figure out the caps-lock key. Person H cannot figure out the English language. Person I cannot figure out humans' languages in general. Person J accuses the modder of stealing assets from some other mod. Person K accuses the modder of stealing HIS mod. Person L wants everyone to just give peace a chance. Person M wants to know if it will work on a pirated game and is quickly banned. Person N demands that the modder tailor the mod to his exacting specifications. Person O is new to this whole modding thing and is so confused by nomenclature that he's convinced that installing mods makes him a "modder." Person P is female and quickly regrets allowing that detail to slip. Persons Q through Y simp out on her and scare the living shit out of the poor woman. Persons Z through CC threaten her life and/or generally make the rest of the male gender wish that those assholes had been boiled in the womb. Person DD is having a bad day and believes that everyone needs to be privy to their drama. Person EE...

...it goes on like that, forever.

EDIT: minor changes. :ss-kickcan
« Last Edit: April 26, 2021, 07:21:12 PM by Silver Sorrow »
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2021, 08:26:31 PM »
Well, my computer speakers finally crapped out. After only sixteen years, my Logitech R530's just don't work right anymore. Damn this planned obsolesence nonsense! Why, back in my day our speakers worked for decades before they started making a grinding noise in the center satellite! Of course, we had bigger problems to worry about, what with the velociraptors hunting us down or the Tyrannosaurs scooping us up like chicken mcnuggets as we ran, but our speakers lasted, by Ooga Booga's grace!

Anyway, for a temporary solution I went digging through my Closet O' Obsolete Tech, and I found a 2.1 set of Harman/Kardon speakers -- HK695's (ChampagneSE) -- that my dad had at work...it was only after going through the torment of hooking them up and hitting the power switch that I realized why they had been unceremoniously dumped in a box. Now, I know the man never threw anything away, but I'm getting a little tired of being the one to figure out how much of this crap works or is truly broken. So those go in the trash.

So I went back...further back...into the closet and found an old pair of Altec Lansings. I don't think they even HAD a subwoofer, although there's a plug for one. Also...they were white once, but have begun to turn ivory from age. Irrelevant. Point is: they work. They don't sound the best, given that I'm used to an additional two sources of sound, but they convey sound in general adequately enough. "When The Levee Breaks," however, does not carry the same punch it used to.

(And on a side note: while my Logitechs were 5.1, I never used the two "rear" satellites, as 1) it meant more wires to trip over, and 2) I sit with my back to a wall and placing them was awkward. For a while there, I did find use for a couple of those giant seasonal popcorn tins my mother never threw away -- one with a black cat sitting in candy corn and a fuzzy wuzzy easter bunny on the other -- but I kept tripping over those AND the wires every single time.)

So I headed for Amazon. Hey, Logitech z623 400 watt speakers...2.1? Fantastic. I don't need anything fancy. Just two satellites and a subwoofer. (That came out "wubsoofer"; hooray for the self-taught typists of the world!) And just $99? Well, put that right in my cart, and...

...what the bleeding hell do you mean you won't deliver them until June 5th??

Okay, screw Amazon. I'm goin' to Best Buy. Same price AND they'll have it here by Wednesday? Well now.

Note to self: stop buying tech...or anything important, really...from Amazon. I had to replace my Blu-ray player recently and they omitted to mention that I need a LAN cable for it to work with my stupid network. It's not that I don't have one; I have tons of them...somewhere. The trick is finding the box I stuffed 'em in. No, the problem is that they tend to "forget" things like that.

Also, Amazon's weird: in my ongoing effort to kill time, I've been putting my old drum kit back together (I've been working on this for years; drum stuff is goddamn expensive, don't let anyone tell you otherwise), and my latest project was to put SilentStroke (mesh) heads and black Evans reso heads on my 8" and 10" rack toms. (That I had to also replace my double tom holder due to cheap hardware decrepitude is outside the scope of this tiresome tale.)

Explanation: merely putting mesh heads on drums works, but if you put resonant heads (bottom heads) on as well, you get at least SOME sound out of them. I just don't want to piss off my neighbors more than I already do with just my mere existence.

Anyway, Amazon had black Evans heads listed, and like a complete clown, I ordered some. The 8" arrived fine, but the 10" was a couple days late, and the packaging seemed rather...small. Upon further inspection, it became rather obvious that this was not a 10" black drum head, but rather a CLEAR 6" head.

Hmmmm.

I ask for a replacement. "Sure thing!" they seem to gush. "A replacement is on the way!" And they give me a return code for the horse condom they sent me. I don't have to pay for the return, but I do have to drag ass halfway across town to the UPS store. Should charge 'em for gas, the bastards.

So a couple days later, the replacement arrives. Yay, right? No! It's a 10" head, but...it's blue. It's an Evans blue hydraulic head.

Just FYI: the hydraulic series is a two-ply head with a layer of oil between the plies; it's meant to elicit a darker, "wet" sound from the drum...a more "controlled" sound that doesn't need as much dampening to reduce ring. Now, I had used those at one time -- back in my youth, when we needed to spook the velociraptors away from our miserable mud-based dwellings -- but this isn't what I need now.

So I contact Amazon, politely pointing out that in my concept of life, it's TWO strikes before they're considered out. They didn't offer to replace it, instead just sending me a refund (which will probably show up in a mere 6 to 8 weeks) and giving me a return code for the wrong thing they just sent. I, being an intellectual of the highest degree...and also enjoying a life wracked with chronic exhaustion...had decided to see if they got the replacement right before returning the first wrong thing. So I saved myself a trip by waiting. I knew they'd mess it up. How did I know? I don't know. But I knew.

I'm not gonna untangle that one.

So I dug into my Closet O' Old Drum Crap (remarkably similar to the Tech closet...okay, it's the same one, but with different strata of junk I don't use anymore) and found a reso head for the 10" tom. It's clear. It doesn't match the theme I have going. But it'll work until I can find a black head. Probably from Clearwater or Guitar Center.

Moral: Amazon, what the hell??
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Starfox

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #17 on: April 29, 2021, 01:25:41 PM »
Quote
...it goes on like that, forever.

You forgot to mention person AAA (the modder) who decides, after weathering all that and a hard thinking, to abandon gaming altogether and go plant lettuces because at least the lettuces don't complain or have existential crisis (maybe they do but they're pretty quiet about it).

Seriously, I've seen several modders left the scene just because they were taking abuse that they were not paid for (which most people seem to forgot).


Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -- A. Einstein

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2021, 10:51:49 PM »
I don't blame 'em for leaving...I mean, imagine receiving death threats for not tailoring your mod to suit the psychoses of some random dipshit. :ss-nuts

Speaking of insanity, I've been somewhat distracted of late, as last week a hailstorm busted out a few of my back windows, swiss-cheesed my siding, and pummeled my roof and gutters. It also gave my car dimples (dimples may be adorable, but not on my car). There's also water damage, which the cherry on top of this shit sundae. While others in the area had a lot more damage, it's cold comfort. On the bright side, my dad's brothers deal with this type of thing beautifully. I am basically useless.

I am going through the Tums like crazy. But at least it's motivated me to seriously consider moving underground.
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #19 on: May 09, 2021, 08:57:23 PM »
So I watched some of Shadow and Bone on Netflix (might as well watch something as they're charging me $18 a month) and...

...I don't know. Every media outlet that mentioned the show treated it as if it were the second coming of Christ, but I couldn't make heads or tails out of it. Okay, there's magic, there's a girl who people don't like because she looks different, and there's a kind of steampunk thing going on...

...which wouldn't be a bad setup, but I can't understand a goddamn thing coming out of the actors' mouths! A bunch of British actors spewing out their lines as if they're all in a race to reach the end of each scene first, and I hate having to turn on subtitles just to make sense of what's going on. I made the mistake of folding towels for part of it, and was thoroughly lost. "Why is she doing that? What did he say? Why is she...wait, is this a flashback? Why...uh...oh God no."

[SCENE: A man and a woman flirt]

MAN: [insinuating smile] Dyouthinkwhatsitwatermelonfre nchfries?
WOMAN: [wincing smile] Oh, IdunnowhatthetimeisbutIthinki tmightbepatagonia!
MAN: [smooth chuckle] Tacobellcheeseonthursdaywotch erbobmexicovivalamanoflamanch a!
WOMAN: [laughs]

[END SCENE]

I gave up after 20 minutes of this. Apparently they have all this lore and backstory to establish in the first episode, a lot of exposition, a ton of character establishment and motiviation, and so on. So they gotta get through it and FAST, establishing the world to hook the viewer before their ratings crater and Netflix cancels them. So the actors have to deliver their lines like auctioneers.

It's bad enough with American actors, but the added difficulty of the British accents tend to make me especially patriotic on the 4th of July.  :ss-nono

There is an alternative, though: it involves these things called "books." The series is based on a trilogy, but...I don't know if I care enough to start another series. I already have a backlog of reading material...I mean, I never finished the third Thomas Covenant series, I'm only a third of the way through Adrienne Barbeau's autobiography, and I have yet to make it through the maze on the back of the Cap'n Crunch box. I just don't have the room for more things to read!
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Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #20 on: August 04, 2021, 01:31:50 PM »
Welcome back to Silver's Slice Of Bitter Misery.

It's been a while, yes, but rest assured: nothing's been going on. Oh, sure...there was a hailstorm a couple of months ago that busted all of my windows in the back, swiss-cheesed my siding, hammered my roof, battered my gutters, and sorely mistreated my car, but other than that (I won't belabor the protracted process of dealing with my insurance), not much has happened.

So I got my roof redone (it was only three years old) a few weeks ago and my siding (ditto) is being replaced Friday. No idea about the windows yet, although measurements have been taken and early divinations with the entrails of a sacrificial cat (RIP Captain Fuzzyboots) have been quite auspicious. And yet...while I look forward to living in an intact domicile again, I admit that I will probably miss the dark seclusion that is achieved with particle board and drywall sheets semi-permanently attached (that is, judging by how dedicated my friend -- YES, I HAVE A FRIEND SO SHUT UP -- was to making sure the various materials stayed put) to the gaping holes where windows once gleamed.

Still, birds flying into them at full speed is something I've missed. There has been no word from the government yet on my proposal to equip every bird in the region with a clown horn helmet, so as to make the incessant window-bonkings more festive and amusing.

My car situation is also a touch annoying. My tree (yes, I have a tree) absorbed most of the hail, but...



...it left me with a leafy mess in the front. (Ignore the white fence on the left; that's my neighbor's doing.) (Also, ignore any...uh...anomalies...concer ning the grill/bumper, as they are entirely irrlevant.) Underneath this involuntary camouflage were many, many dimples in my baby's complexion. However, thanks to my tree (thanks, tree!) no windows were broken and it -- the car, not the tree -- is still driveable. Not that the tree was, or ever will be, driveable.

Anyway, my insurance was pretty quick and efficient (for the car, at least; the house was a nightmare); they're even paying for a rental while I get the dings banged out, so to speak. And that's where it gets annoying: look beneath the leaves and what do you see? I see a mobile cave/den/lair that likes going 85 in a 60 zone. Now...what would be the most appropriate rental car? I know! I know! How about a bright red midsized truck?

The Chevy Colorado, that is. Again: bright red. Gets roughly 3 miles to the gallon. Since I am a hermit and have very few places I ever need to be, it shouldn't be a problem, right? Well...yeah. I am grateful that I have wheels, at least. But did it need to be so...so...RED?? And right in the front, where everyone can see how RED it is. So while it may be easy to drive and not as likely to rocket through school zones (despite the color), it's just not my Charger.

Okay, count those blessings: I have transportation (albeit bright red transportation). My broken windows are covered up to keep the outside where it belongs (outside). I have the funds to get everything repaired. I have a cake cooling and soon I will slather it in frosting. Life is...well, not "good," exactly...let's just say "tolerable, for now." If anyone wants to point out how privileged and entitled and blah blah blah I am compared to sore-riddled unfortunates in the poorer countries of the world, feel free to jot it down on a piece of paper, crumple it up, dip it in olive oil, and stick it up your ass.

If I wanted to feel others' pain, I'd move to one of those convenience-deprived shitholes and join my impoverished brethren in a round of Kumbaya. But since the government is hell-bent on turning us into North Venezuela, I won't have to move to experience wretchedness before long...
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Doc_Brown

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #21 on: August 06, 2021, 12:30:16 AM »
I'd mentioned a few times in the cabal/staff section(s) that my relative lack of presence here these past few, well, years has been due to my job going downhill, and I'm happy to say Friday was my last day.  I've been saving my money up with the intention of taking a bit a career break, partly because I just need time to recover from the burnout but also to get caught up on all the things that fell by the wayside.  There's also, unavoidably, a bit of a midlife crisis aspect to it (I turn 40 next year), but watcha gonna do?  *shrug*

Long story short, I'll probably have more of a presence here going forward--not because I'm being a lazy bum, but because I'm in a better headspace.
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Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #22 on: August 07, 2021, 09:04:02 AM »
When I was younger, my concept of the midlife crisis was that you should wreck your current relationship by hooking up with a hot young thang and buying a ridiculously cool car (must be a blonde and a red convertible, or you could mix-and-match to your personal preference; a topless redhead and a monster truck, for example). And getting a toupee, even if you don't need one. But I've come to understand that sitting alone in the dark and eating air-fried corndogs while listlessly watching British baking shows is just as valid. Cheaper, too.

[Btw: Phil Collins absolutely wrecked the curve with his relationship with his third wife. (Warning: it's blood-chilling stuff if you look it up.) So getting a hairpiece and a Corvette doesn't have the same shock value anymore.]

Anyway, yes...I understand. :ok:
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Offline Starfox

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #23 on: August 07, 2021, 05:35:34 PM »
40 isn't bad. It's 50 the real killer., when you realize that you're half a century old. And then you wish you were still 40. :lol: Though I can't say I had a true mid-life crisis. I was too busy with other stuff. I had a friend who went into overdrive though... He quit his job, his wife (leaving her the house and their adoptive child) then he went to the Seychelles to find himself a nice native and became a scuba-diving instructor (previously he was a veterinarian... I know  :realconfused: )

So I guess everyone reacts in their own little (or big) way. The important thing in the end is to find a way to feel okay with yourself and life... Finding a woman (or man for the ladies out there) 20 years younger might help  :ok:


Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -- A. Einstein

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #24 on: August 12, 2021, 01:45:06 PM »
That would make a good thriller:

He's a beach bum who was tired of the mundane. She's a loose-hipped sloe-eyed island girl who has a problem with her cat. He used to be a vet, so he knows all about pussy. Together they'll face harrowing dangers in the face of an international conspiracy involving diamonds and exploding helicopters, in "Susie Seychelles By The Seashore"...coming this summer, barring another lockdown.

Maybe not. Still, if we can get Maggie Q involved somehow, it might be worth the indelible stain upon our souls.

Me? I wish I was still ten, in 1984. Or, as I call it, "the last year I was actually happy." I've been informed that I shouldn't tell people that, as it makes them sad. Oh, boo HOO.

Oh, but today had something good: I was able to return my BRIGHT RED RENTAL TRUCK and bring my baby home. No dimples, dings, blemishes, or (totally irrelevant) grill indentations that may have existed prior to chunks of ice from the sky hitting my equity.

I was down to a quarter tank of gas, so I filled up before hitting the highway...$3 a gallon, $46.99 at the pump...thanks, President Kid-Sniffer! The rental truck, btw, got about 3 miles to the gallon, I think. ::)

I mentioned this to my uncle, who drives a full-size pickup [although a vehicle that requires you to clamber onto a shin-high step and grab a doorframe handle in order to swing yourself up into a seat, deserves something a bit more substantially-named than "pickup"] and is always on the road, told me that when he filled up yesterday it cost him around $90.

Fortunately, I am a recluse and hate people, and I never go anywhere unless I can help it, so gas isn't a particular problem for me...

Well, shit. This was supposed to be a positive post, but it derailed into First World Woes, didn't it?
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Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #25 on: August 16, 2021, 09:59:49 PM »
My TV watching has devolved. I used to watch things that would hold my interest (read: violence, spooky shit, hot babes, etc), but now I just let shows run in the background as I wrestle my way through various puzzles: crosswords, jigsaws, sudoku...just time-killing crap, really.

So usually what I have running is something that I won't be required to *watch*, really. So things like "America's Most Secret Ancient Nazi Alien Conspiracies" and "Britain's Most Visually Boring Cooking Show Ever Filmed" are right up my alley, so to speak. I don't have to look up every few seconds to make sure the female lead hasn't popped out of her top, nor am I in danger of missing a plot-important boat explosion.

[Disclaimer: I have very little patience with conspiracies in general; I'm merely amused by them. As for cooking shows...well, I'm in no danger of cooking anything more complex than a bowl of Fruity Pebbles (I keep burning the milk, goddammit!). Again, I'm merely amused by them.]

But there are times...well. I've come to think of watching British cooking shows as immersing myself in a foreign language. There are moments when I have absolutely no clue what is being said, and I wonder if they do that on purpose. For example: the other day I was poring over a crossword puzzle while an episode of "Britain's Best Home Cook" ran; all of a sudden, through the thick haze of anger and confusion that is my trademark when faced with mental tasks, I heard the people on TV showing various degrees of enthusiasm over something called "aubergine." (The spelling is correct; I looked it up. Thanks, internet!)

Now, I had ignored with relative grace the principals' tendency to pepper their speech with inanities and other Brit-isms (oh, untwist your knickers, people...I am fully aware that we Americans are just as ridiculous), designed to confound and annoy the viewer; but asking me to catch on to their meaning when I was already being sorely vexed by some rotten bastard whose idea of cleverness was to use an alternate spelling of one of Europe's inexhaustible supply of four-letter rivers? Intolerable.

"What," I began reasonably, "the hell," I continued censored-ly, "is an aubergine?"

I began to make associations. "That's purple, isn't?" I asked a vague spot on the ceiling. I took to the internet. The best result was brutally simple:

Aubergine = eggplant.

If only all of my other searches were as beautifully concise.

This did not alleviate my rage (as such), as I hurled a few choice obscenities at the TV, the gist of which I furnish to you now: why didn't you pretentious jackholes just call it an "eggplant" in the first place?

I flashed back on my utter disgust with some idiot calling green beans "haricots verts," and my nose began spewing blood and I don't remember what happened next but I think I may have killed somebody. More later.
It is the scent of garlic that lingers on my chocolate fingers

Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #26 on: August 19, 2021, 01:39:21 AM »
False alarm. It was just a random forgotten deity. No biggie, although I've been having trouble with one of my toilets lately, by complete coincidence. That's what I'm telling the Pantheon Gestapo, anyway. "Crappus Decorus? The God of guest bathrooms? Never heard of 'im."

Anyway.

Near the end of the final credits of some movie I watched recently -- yes, I usually let the credits run; no, I am not available to be your personal Lord and Savior -- where they usually list what unmitigated cess pits they filmed at, there was a gigantic "CANADA" graphic, complete with a maple leaf (redundant? perhaps). This was obviously meant to imply that it was filmed in Canada, of all places.

"No wonder I didn't recognize any of the actors," I grumbled.

Still, I think that this might be an excellent time to implement an invasive international mandate: all movies must blare the national anthem(s) of every country in which filming took place over the last few minutes of the end credits.

Just filmed in one country? Excellent. Just one anthem needed. An American production that filmed in Canada? No problem! O say can you see and all that jazz segues into a rousing rendition of "O Canada." A Sino-Russian co-production? Easy enough: just WHOA WHOA WHOA...

...I can't post what I just wrote. It isn't nice. Sorry.
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Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #27 on: August 21, 2021, 12:15:55 AM »
This may be a controversial statement, but I refuse to keep my silence on the matter anymore:

Grunge was merely a fad...just like Disco.

There. I said it. Deal with it.
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Offline Silver Sorrow

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #28 on: August 21, 2021, 03:39:14 AM »
While I'm at it:

Punk was the death of intelligent music.

Whoever decided to drench everything in garlic will be nailed to a wall in Hell.

Just thought everyone should know.
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Offline Doc_Brown

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Re: Random Crap 2021: The Downward Spiral Of Our Days
« Reply #29 on: August 21, 2021, 11:15:25 AM »
Whoever decided to drench everything in garlic will be nailed to a wall in Hell.

Any relation to your signature, or is that just a coincidence?
Roads?  Where we're going we don't need roads.

 

everything