New Missions...Taffer!

[Silver Sorrow]

As the "official guardian" of this section, I'd like all the ladies to remove your--

--wait! Sorry. No. Keep those things firmly on. But you can remove the other things, if you like. It might get drafty, though. Fair warning.

So now, I hereby open up the all-new, new Thief FMs release thread.

HEY!

Thank you. Since the original thread back at the other forums was almost 20 pages, things tended to get lost after a while. I see no reason to change that system, so here we go:

For Thief 1/Gold, there's:

The Dark Temple (451k) by BG Taffer; this is the v0.5 update, which...hell, I don't know WHAT that means. Does it mean that I'll be able to find all of the loot now? Does it mean that there won't be any pitch-black areas anymore? Who knows?


For Thief 2, we have:

A Shopping Stopover (2.3mb) by TheNightTerror. Apparently, there's German language support. This is supposedly the small prologue to a much larger mission.

Broken Hammers (5.9mb) by Spoonman.


For Thief 3, there is NOTHING! Absolutely NOTHING! STOOOPIIIID![/Gedde Watanabe]


And here's my continuingly eternal thanks to epithumia and his invaluable Thief Missions...a man who deserves his own dictatorship on a tropical island somewhere with palm trees swaying on a gentle, fragrant breeze. Damn it. I hate winter.

Additionally: until Thiefmissions is updated with the following FMs, I'll provide the alternate links.

Under Templehill (~12.8mb) by The Pixie.
Download Link 1, courtesy of Komag
Download Link 2, courtesy of Scrooge (don't use a download manager for that site)

A Night In Rocksbourg by DrK.
There are two separate missions and a zillion downloads, so I'll just point you to the TTLG thread instead...right here.

That's all for the moment. My face is about to hit the keyboard, but I still have stuff to do...

[Silver Sorrow]

A link update and some new missions. And people thought first-person stealth games were just limited to a guy with funny goggles. 

Under Templehill (12.8mb) by The Pixie. The Thiefmissions link, finally! A big welcome back to epithumia.

The next three were submitted to a Polish contest, The Glyph of Hammer and Trowel Contest:

A Winter Holiday (5.1mb) by Timon.

The First Day of Winter (7.8mb) by PinkDot.

The Citadel of Wrath-Amon (2.2mb) by Paweuek.

[Silver Sorrow]

Quick update before work...

...had you going there, didn't I? Oh, we unemployed are a delight. 

Under Templehill (12.9mb) has ben updated to v1.1.

And now for my pre-mid-morning nap.

[Silver Sorrow]

You think VH1 Classic will ever run "Hangin' With: Genetle Giant"? Or even "Hangin' With: Marillion"? Not a chance. Just when I'd thought that they only interviewed arm-scratching navel-gazers from the early 80's, I saw the Rush episode last night. It was pretty interesting...despite the fact that 1) the host's questions were drawn out, boring, and insipid, 2) only Geddy and Alex were there, 3)  the boring, insipid host kept overriding their answers with more questions or more fawning without listening to the answers, and 4) he kept asking questions about Neil. I'm sorry, but even Lisa Ling would have been a better interviewer. ("You guys, like, used to be skinny, right? Did I mention that I'm on National Geographic's TV show? Isn't that, like, SO COOL? I don't have to, like, deal with that assmunch Star, and I just wanted to hit that simpering Viera bitch right in the mouth! And Baba Wawa? What'th up with thuh lithp, huh? HA! I'm sorry, what? Oh, it's all about YOU, isn't it?")

But back on subject...

The Night in Rocksbourg missions have been added to the Thiefmissions archive:

A Night in Rocksbourg: A New Beginning. (48.4mb)
A Night in Rocksbourg: Discovery. (79.5mb)

And, Broken Hammers (5.9mb) has been updated to version 2.

[Silver Sorrow]

Oooookay. More fun for Thief 2.

john9818a's A Love Story II (48.9mb) has been up-versioned to 1.3

Mysterious Invitation (8.2mb) by MH.TheFreak. English and German language support. I found *this* little tidbit in the readme somewhat alarming:

Normal: Blackjack and alarmed guards allowed
Hard: Blackjack, no alarmed guards allowed
Expert: neither Blackjack, nor alarmed guards allowed

Wunderbar. Let's go over Commandment #11 again, shall we? All together now:

Thou Shalt NOT Screw With The Gameplay!

[Silver Sorrow]

Blackheart's Recording (2.4mb) by Ogi (evil Garrett) [?!?]...I'm probably nurturing a few prejudiced notions here (which, sadly, is still illegal in several states despite the nationwide awareness campaign spearheaded by such luminaries as Woody "Dude, It's Like...Dude, You Know?" Harrelson and Kirstie "SQUEAL PIG SQUEAL!" Alley), but when 1) the readme has virtually no information, 2) the filesize is fairly small, and 3) I forget to wear my pants to school, then it's safe to say that yes, I am judging this FM before it's even finished downloading. So I'll give it a shot.

And for the record, I never forgot to wear my pants to school. I wish I had a funny story to commemorate this fact, but I don't. I never even got an award for Student Most Likely To Remember To Wear his Pants To School, either. I'm a little bitter about that, I admit. Every year I *did* get a "Participant" ribbon at the track meet award thingy, and what do you know? I did participate!

I still have my third place ribbon from the sack race. God damn it.

Great. Now I'm all depressed.

[Silver Sorrow]

Hell, as if anyone plays Thief anymore.

For Thief 2, there are three offerings for your...well, not enjoyment, since I don't know if any of these will be enjoyable. But take a look.

What A Drag! (8.3mb) by Philou. Originally a French mission, it's now been translated into English. It's the story of one lonely transvestite's evening trolling the docks, looking for sailors. Or I may be lying. Who cares?

Coalport (2.8mb) by Ravenhook. I tried this one out this morning, and it was a real framerate killer. Too many friggin' objects. Give it a try if you like motion sickness.

Forgotten Forest 2 (19.5mb) by Timon. It's entirely in Polish, so that's 20 megs I don't have to download.

To quote epithumia's note: "Note that this mission is entirely in Polish and contains a large amount of text to read. An English translation does not seem to be forthcoming, so I have added it now instead of waiting. Some information and basic translations of the objectives can be found in this message at the TTLG FM forum."

[Silver Sorrow]

There's a new T2 mission, but I can't play the damned thing past the camvator intro (tries to load the 2nd mission then CTDs...what a blast). No one else on the TTLG boards is gaving any problems with getting it running, so it must be MY fault. Again.

Snobs, Part 2 (27.5mb) by Naks. Give it a whirl. If you can.

Of course, no one's reading this thread, so this is futile anyway. I'm thinking of using this thread to store my recipes.

[larissa mem]

Why, do you have a good one for chocolate chip cookies?   

[Silver Sorrow]

Okay, THAT will net you ten years in Purgatory, easily.

But azzamadderafact, I do...the problem is that no one can handle the...uh..."substitution" I use for the chocolate. Since I never eat my own cooking, I derive my enjoyment from sharing with others. That was a GREAT potluck dinner...especially when they ran out of toilet paper. Does a youth pastor crap in the woods? Well, now we know. 

[bobdog]

Reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe makes the great chocolate chip cookies and Monica tries to figure out the recipe only to learn ....

[Starfox]

You mean the episode with "Nestle Toulouse" and not "TollHouse"... Yeah that was a good one 

[Silver Sorrow]

I always miss the good episodes. 

[Starfox]

I would lend you my DVD collection but the shipping would be awfully expensive 

[Silver Sorrow]

I appreciate it...I can probably find the entire series in a bargain bin somewhere and *still* have enough cash left over for the Special Edition Director's Cut version of "The Pacifier II: Riddick Kicks Ass In Suburbia". (The teenager gives Riddick some lip, so he cuts the kid's lips off and makes him eat them. THAT should have been in the original.)

I'm at the point where I actually miss Friends. All my favorites, disappearing, going away, getting cancelled after one episode, etc.